Running Out of Air by K.T. Swift

Author:K.T. Swift [Swift, K.T.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: NineStar Press, LGBT, YA, family drama, poisoning, death of a parent, diary, aromantic lesbian
Publisher: NineStar Press, LLC
Published: 2018-04-15T00:00:00+00:00

May

5/1 WEDNESDAY

(Typed, Encrypted)

Tomorrow is final dress, and I think I have my melodrama behind me. I am no longer a wreck around anyone, thank you very much, my singing has much improved with my health, and I am skipping two and a half years of school before I even start. How marvellous!

I think I have trained Hadrian never to ask me anything because he sort of winces whenever he asks me even the most benign of questions. It’s a little funny and a touch sad at the same time. I am a terrible person sometimes, aren’t I?

Also, Hadrian is going to have to actually kiss me tomorrow, which will be awkward and weird for the both of us. We shall ford through it, though, because we are…thespians (Feel free to insert a dramatic pose and jazz hands in your mind’s eye here). Actors can fib and connive their way out of anything if they are talented enough. That seems to be the only thing I am good at.

I can’t take on a persona to save my life. I just identify a part of myself with that character to understand their motivation and lie like I got caught out after midnight with a beer in one hand and a baggy of coke ready to be snorted in the other (“Of course I’m not underage, Officer. I know Tennessee law has a curfew for teenagers. Beer? What beer? This is just one of those non-alcoholic beers, see? Look at the label. That on the table? Baking soda, it’s a sight gag.”).

And I am digressing way too much…even if that baking-soda line is pure gold. Tucker told me I didn’t have to make “kissy faces (Immature much?)” with “lover boy,” but I told him I was mature enough to fake it like the rest of the world. He just laughed at me, and I sniffed disapprovingly.

Hadrian has yet to comment on this upcoming occurrence at all, which is a little confusing, but hey. We have never honestly discussed our love lives outside of his angry protestations of chastity earlier in the year, so maybe we won’t discuss this (Even after the play has closed, we most likely shan’t broach the topic). This just screams exciting times at Ridgemont High, doesn’t it? No, not at all, but I really love the title of that old movie, don’t you?

Again, I stray from the point. I am sure that everything will be fine from now on. I’m not freaking out at the mere sight of unpleasant memories, which is more important to me than the fact that Dreams may actually come out smelling of roses, strange as that may sound.

I didn’t need another vacation. I just needed a few moments out of the day to stop and think and accept things (and run. Running is good). I thought I hadn’t needed them, but I accept that I do. I’m glad it is such an easy thing to achieve moments of meditation in this school. The classes are dull enough to lull you to sleep.

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